Not All Men, Only Some!

“Not all men, only some!” This phrase often surfaces online, especially when a crime against women is reported. Well, I agree with the literal truth behind the statement. Indeed, it’s only some men who actively support victims instead of blaming them. It’s only some men who challenge the harmful actions and behaviors of perpetrators rather than questioning the actions of the victims. It’s only some men who understand the importance of being fellow human beings who respect others' rights, rather than seeing themselves as either saviors or perpetrators.

    It’s only some men who grasp the true meaning of feminism—not as a threat to their masculinity, but as a movement for equality that benefits everyone. And yes, it’s only some men who realize that a woman’s freedom is not an invitation to commit crimes against her. It’s only some men who stand as allies, advocating for a world where women are free from violence and harassment. But every time I find the context in which it’s used by some—often referred to as "menists" or male activists—problematic. Yes, it is only some men who commit these heinous acts, but the phrase is often used to divert attention away from the real issue: the need to hold perpetrators accountable and support victims.

I’m often puzzled by the outrage so many men express whenever mainstream media or social activists speak out against crimes against women. Why is it that these men seem to take offense when people raise their voices against perpetrators? One observation I’ve made in my circles is that the men who perpetuate stereotypes about women—claiming that "women can’t drive," "women get by on their looks," or "she must have traded sexual favors for that promotion"—are often the same ones who become defensive when discussions of rape and sexual assault arise. This reaction raises questions: Why do these men feel targeted by the discussions that clearly focus on perpetrators and those who blame the victims?

From my observation, the mainstream media and social activists do not generalize all men as being responsible for crimes against women. The focus is usually on the perpetrators and the societal attitudes that allow such crimes to persist. Then why, do so many men feel the need to respond with "Not all men"? It almost seems like these individuals are identifying with the perpetrators, which is why they feel so offended. When someone asks men to behave respectfully, to not harass or assault others, what exactly is it that some men find so objectionable? The only explanation that makes sense is that these men feel entitled to behave in ways that are now being challenged. This sense of entitlement is what fuels their defensiveness.

Instead of reacting defensively, it’s crucial for men to engage in self-reflection. If you’re offended by calls for respectful behavior, perhaps it’s time to examine why. Are you uncomfortable because you see a part of yourself in the behaviors being criticized? Or are you genuinely committed to ensuring that all people are treated with dignity and respect? To all the men who understand the importance of being allies, who challenge harmful behaviors, and who support the victims, I say thank you. Your actions are vital in the ongoing fight for gender equality. To those who feel defensive, I encourage you to listen, reflect, and consider how you can contribute positively to these discussions. 

In the end, the phrase "Not all men, only some" is true. But it’s time to focus on ensuring that those "some" men who support victims, challenge perpetrators, and advocate for equality are no longer the exception, but the norm.